After I spotted one of the real housewives of nyc in the Hamptons I started looking at the bravo page of the show and I had to start laughing hysterically that bravo considers toaster oven maven a profession. Really?

I say to my friend, "Here's a real estate magazine with all the listings in the Hamptons. Check it out for an affordable place." She says, "Honey. If I'm gonna get a place, it won't be affordable."

I saw an advertisement on hamptons website that said Kosher Music. How could music be Kosher? Well some people do eat their words!

For the second time in a row I go to a Dunkin Donuts in South and I ask for a coffee and A munchkin. In response, the food service worker gives me six extra donuts. I'm figuring the possible causes of this event are (1) I look like I'm fading away to nothing and in desperate need of sustenance. (2) The food service worker doesn't understand English. (3) The food service resents working late and is giving me three day old donuts.

I usually like to try and cheer up retail workers. I say to one retail worker at 11 at night : I guess lots of people come here at night to the 24 hour CVS. She says dully, "yeh.". Then I say, "What is the most common item bought?". She replies, " Cigarettes." I say, "And then beer." "Yeh. I guess,"she replies expressionless and animation less. Then I say, "I guess the next most commonly purchased item is condoms." THEN she laughs.

A true Barnes and Noble interaction. A woman goes up to a man and goes so , "they didn't throw you out yet?". He says, "Are you really staying with me." She says, "Only for a half an hour." He says, "What a tease!" . She says, "A half an hour is hardly a tease!".