The Hamptons in a Nutshell

Are you going to the Hamptons and not sure where to stay. Here is a a brief summary of each area in the Hamptons. Those of you who are lucky enough to be able to afford a home in the Hamptons, please don't take offense to any of this. Westhampton, Quogue, Remsenburg, Speonk area- Families. Most laid back. NO pressure for proper comportment or to look fancy but still haute couture. Southampton- Old money. Children should be seen not heard. Easthampton- Very new money. Land of the celebrity obsessed. Water Mill/ Sag Harbor- European, very hip and cool people. Shelter Island- A bizarre place of farmland with a euro task club sandwiched in the middle. Center Moriches/ Easport/ Manorville- trying to live down their reputation as white trash. Mastic/ Shirley- Townie country. Where most of the workers live.

I walk on to the Roger's Beach with P and A. A says, "E you are losing too much weight." P says, "Her legs are still kind of fat."

P says to me, "Do you think its too much to spend $90,000 on a car". And I'm looking at $20,000 cars. I say, "Well maybe a little.". He says, " well we can't drive a $5000 car in Old Westbury or Southampton.". Umm big difference 90K and 5K. Gotta love this kid.

One cookie said to the other cookie, "Am I darker than you?". The other cookie replied, "Yes, you've been in the tanning bed aka oven too long."

One cookie said to the other cookie, "Am I darker than you?". The other cookie replied, "Yes, you've been in the tanning bed aka oven too long."

Do you think your town or neighborhood has interesting people, if so let me know at askmeelyse@gmail.com

Went to one of my favorite towns in Sag Harbor and saw Dan's Papers which is free ( and about the only thing that is free in the Hamptons). And on the cover it headlined a softball game entitled artists versus writers. The Hamptons is probably the only place where anyone cares what the outcome of such a game would be!

This tale also demonstrates the essence of men! I'm eating dinner with a very attractive man. He gets up to leave and I am still sitting finishing my dinner. Another man who is far less attractive, two seconds later, moves closer to me and asks to buy me a drink. There's nothing slowing men down!

Tip for saving money in the Hamptons ( where they rent paddles boats for $80 a day) instead of ordering appetizers at a swanky bistro before dinner buy those mini tacos for 4 for a $1 at 711 before you go into your uber restaurant.